This summer I had the privilege of spending time with my little nieces. We had a lot of fun. We spent hours at the pool, went to the movies, played arcade games and ate gold fish crackers to our hearts content.
I pride myself on being the “Fun Auntie”. Whimsy and fancy free- that’s me.
Whether it’s breaking out in song, painting my face with markers or talking with a Brooklyn accent (why not?), I’m always up for some folly.
Unbeknownst to me, my playful nature caused concern for my pensive little niece, Sadie. After our time together, Sadie asked my Mother (her Grandmother), if I was like the other adults. Apparently, engaging in dance offs and feeding them candy off of the floor caused her to question my grown up status.
My Mother reassured Sadie that I was, in fact, an adult. But this reassurance was not enough to convince my niece.
Sadie went straight to the source. She called and asked me, point blank:
“Auntie Jane, are you like other adults?”
Me: “What do you mean sweetie?”
Sadie: “Well, Auntie Jane, you seem to be less serious than other adults.”
This accusation of being silly was not new to me. My nick name, Jungle Jane is in reference to my quirky nature ( and the fact that I don’t brush my hair). I have also been known to start a few kitchen fires ( completely by accident). “Eccentric” is a word frequently used to describe me.
And you know what? I take pride in not taking myself too seriously.
Yet, I never realized how my lack of order could be viewed as chaos to an introverted, sensitive child.
I had to think about this carefully before I answered.
Then I replied: “You’re right sweetie, other adults do take life more seriously.”
I thought some more: ” But I try to be a grown up when it counts.”
It was Sadie’s response to my statement that surprised me. My niece thought about my answer and instantly understood what I meant. She then brought up an event that had recently occurred. “Oh ya,” she said, “like the time that lady hit your car-right Auntie Jane? ”
Sadie was referencing an event that happened a few days prior. Earlier in the week, my car had been parked on the street at my sisters place, when a lady hit my vehicle so hard that it ended up on the front lawn. The driver was very shaken up. While I was annoyed and perplexed at how this woman managed such a move on such a wide street, I chose to approach the situation with grace and gratitude. I remained calm as I reassured the driver that everything was going to be ok. I told her I was grateful that no one was hurt. I asked her how I could help and offered her coffee while we waited for the police.
I have seen far too many adults throw fits over trivial things such as losing a parking spot or getting a speeding ticket. Being a grown up means handling inconveniences with a level head. Being a grown up means acting right even when someone has done you wrong. Being a grown up means standing tall, biting your tongue when you want to stomp your feet and scream. Being a grown up means showing kindness to a person after they have accidentally smashed your car beyond repair.
My conversation with my niece reminded me of the important role we play in teaching children. How we handle or mishandle adversities teaches children how they can do the same. While I may not have set a good example by eating candy off a (very dirty) floor, I hope I showed my niece how to act responsibly in the midst of chaos. Being a grown up means approaching difficult situations with respect and reason. A true adult will put on the grown up pants when times are tough and be a grown up when it counts.