Birthdays are an interesting day of the year. People congratulate you for being born and give you presents, when really, you didn’t do anything to be born. You just kind of showed up more or less around your due date. Why we celebrate the birthees rather than the birthers on the birthdays is beyond me (and yes, I just made up the word “birthee”).
In any case, birthdays are great because they are a milestone to look back on the year, look ahead to the future, and reflect on exactly where you are at in life on that day.
I recently had a birthday. As an over anxious goal setter, this day is often a time fraught with frantic task writing as I design a convoluted acronym of various feats I want to accomplish that year.
But this year, it’s different. This year I am becoming. And I am becoming with intention.
I heard a speaker recently, and he shared that we are always growing and becoming. The author proposed that we set our intention on who the next version of you is, and how that next version of you acts.
Guy 1 grows into Guy 2, Guy 2 grows into Guy 3 and so on. We never stay the same (and thank goodness for that!). But, if we don’t grow purposely, we just grow willy nilly.
An important distinction to make here: this focus of becoming is not striving, it is simply reflecting on the version of you that you want to become, keeping that image in your minds eyes, and acting accordingly. Our thoughts and intentions shape our actions.
Here’s what this looks like in real life terms. Jane 2 can be a bit scattered and unfocused as she is frolicking through life, her jungle hair flying in the wind. Because of said airborne hair, Jane is often too busy to be present for the people she loves. Jane 2 also has a bad habit of complaining about people that annoy her.
Jane 3 lives life a bit more slowly, with a bit more intention. Jane 3 takes more time to tell the people in her life she loves them. Jane 3 calls her Grandma more often. Jane 3 takes deep breaths and enjoy the moment, rather than preoccupying her mind with the next thing on her to-do list. Jane 3 is disciplined and focused in pursuing her dreams. Jane 3 holds her tongue when she wants to complain. Jane 3 also bakes a lot of cookies.
When faced with a situation, I now frame it in the context of, “How do I want to grow? What would the better version of me do? ” This was especially helpful the other day, when I really wanted to insult my coworker back after she just took a jab at me.However, I stopped for a moment and asked, “What would the better version of me do?” (aka Jane 3). After reflecting on that question, I held emphatically bit my tongue.
Birthdays are great. They are a time to be celebrated and loved. They are a time where you can eat a whole row of rainbow chocolate chips cookies and not even feel bad about it. Most importantly though, birthdays are a great resting point and a great launching pad on this journey of becoming who have been designed to be.